“You don’t have a mate”, “Everyone has their pace”, “You are not in a competition with anyone”. I have heard these phrases a thousand times, I bet you have too. We may or may not agree with them but it’s funny the minimal imprint it leaves in our minds when we do.
Let’s be realistic, competitiveness is a natural human trait, no one is to blame for that. In fact psychologists say that it is an inevitable consequence of the psychoanalytic view of human drive and is a natural state of being, so whether we like it or not, we are constantly competing. Sigmund Freud even said humans are born screaming for attention and full of organic drives for fulfillment in different areas. By the way, a little digression, I was thinking the other day about how much effect it would have on life if babies were born laughing instead of crying. Think about it.
Back to the subject matter, because of our competitiveness, we strive to be better persons, little wonder Charles Darwin’s survival of the fittest theory. Whether they are better or not, some are more successful than others at least by human standards. Because of that competitive trait, there are two things the success of others does to you; it either motivates you or intimidate you. The former is the reason we live in a developed world with new ideas everyday, the latter is like a slippery slope, you get intimidated, self doubt and envy sets in and ultimately you become a liability.
Today’s world makes it even more difficult not to be initimidated. Five minutes on social media and you see how well people are doing or seemingly so and then you start questioning yourself. A friend of mine said, “the success of others makes me want to level up”.
The good thing is that you can choose your path. First of all, intimidation or self doubt reduces your chances of being successful. How? You allow the voice of your insecurities prevent you from moving forward and your fear of failure is fueled. How many times have you refrained from doing something because you bugged yourself with the thought of failing or not making as much success as the other person. There you have it. Do a self assessment and find out what is really stopping you, my best bet is the intimidation from a highly competitive world. If it is, here are a few tips;
1- Stop the negative self comparism: I might not wholely agree with the no competition part, but I do agree that we all have our pace and timelines. Negatively comparing yourself will only fuel your insecurities and reduce your chances of doing better.
2- Define Success: you have to define what success means to you, because surely, it’s relative. It’s money to some, it’s impact to others. When you clarify your intentions, everything becomes easier and you have a sense of direction.
3- Shut out negativity: Negative thoughts and insecurities will always come up but it’s your job to shut them out since it’s not helping anyway.
4- Take that step : its important to take the first step, it’s better to take it and fail than not taking it at all. It could be a project, a competition, a brand, whatever it is, take the first step and keep moving.
5- Genuinely celebrate the success of others: this is something we have to consciously learn. Most of the time, it’s has a boomerang effect. Instead of hating, celebrate others, when you do, you give you unconscious mind permission to succeed. If you can, help others succeed too.
Theses tips have helped me and I hope they help you too. As usual the conversation continues in the comment section guys, if you’ve ever been in these phase share tip that helped you too. Don’t forget to like comment , share and sign up for more. Ciao!