It’s way easier to give condolences than to accept them. This statement is easier read than felt. Recently, I got to accept and to feel in both categories. I lost a really dear friend, one I never ever imagine I’d lose soon. He was dear to many so the pain is not unique to me but still very personal. There are just people in your life that you really hold dear, the imagination of them gone never pops up in your mind. Never.
Tobechukwu Olehi was one of such people and this is in honor of him. One of the liveliest fellows you’d ever meet, with a truck load of positive vibes, an undaunting attitude to life, a guy with a very big heart, extra supportive. I mean extra supportive. Never took advantage of anyone, a good listener, he would literarily stay up all night to endure boring conversations, he probably didn’t see it as endurance because he really understood the value of friendship. Always available when needed, all his friends were constantly reminded of how much they meant to him.
He was literarily everywhere, foundations, campaigns, event publicity, whatever thing that involved giving support to those he cared about. Jesus. I mean, the world had only one copy of Tobe and its heartbreaking to know there’s none here now. Many of his friends didn’t want to accept the news, we prayed but God knows best. Frankly, I’m down for a miracle so that all posts relating to this can be scrapped. It won’t be an overstatement to say it was the hardest and most unprecedented news of the year for me, one that brings tears anytime I remember, I can’t fathom the pain of his family and all those who really loved him.
This makes the number of losses this year so striking. I imagine the number of people who have felt similar or worse feelings, it really hits home now how difficult it is to lose a loved one. Those who were lost to the pandemic, those we lost during the protest and via any other means, my heart really goes out to their loved ones because like I said, condolences are better given than accepted and this statement is better read than felt.
There are really no solutions this time, because the pain of losing a loved one must be felt. People can’t be taught how to feel their pain or how to mourn their loss. The healing comes naturally I guess, some people never heal, some just accept the new state of things, the realization that none of us will live this place alive.
The daunting realization that nothing is certain, it’s all gamble, which is why a secured eternity is the surest bet. That’s the consolation for me I guess and probably those who share the same faith (Christians). Death is never really the end, there’s life after death for those in Christ, but yea, it still hurts to know you’ll never see them on earth again.
That’s it. Its an unusual one, but I guess those who have been in these shoes can relate to everything. If you lost a loved one this year, or whenever, It’s hard, but accept my condolences and may God give you the strength to pull through. If you have experiences and want to share how you pulled through or want to vent, the comment section is open to do so. Till the next blogdate (never thought this would be the next, but yea), ciao!