If you’re someone who is in constant contact with people, you often wonder why a lot of people are keen on making everything about themselves. It’s about them when you miss their calls, It’s about them when their messages are unread, It’s about them when they are not incorporated into your schedule, when you make certain decisions that affects you, it’s about them, even when you drink water, they make it about them.
Many people don’t consider the fact that there could be a hundred more reasons why other people do or don’t do certain things…What if she’s sick? What if he had a bad day? What if there are a hundred other messages unread? What if she is stressed out? What if it’s not about me?
You don’t even have to be the above category of people, just being a human living in a world of humans is enough to get burnt by people’s innate selfishness. You don’t even have to look outwards, you must have noticed it in yourself, the generality of our thought process and actions as humans are geared towards self.
It would propel one to give credence to Thomas Hobbes who argued that humans in the state of nature are selfish and are willing to hurt each other it would help them…bruh that took a lot of observation and probably personal experiences.
Recently, I have had a lot of encounters with people who don’t fail to rub their selfishness on my face, I have caught myself on that lane too, making me wonder whether there is something in our anatomy responsible for it and today’s is about sharing what I found out.
Interestingly, I discovered that human are altruistic at heart, that means we are selfless at heart and suggests that selflessness is the default option. So where does the selfishness come from.
Research as revealed that a part of the brain called the pre-frontal cortex might have something to do with it…weird yea? This part of the brain is responsible for making complex judgments.
In an experiment, this part of the brain was disrupted using transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) while participants were asked to give money to people with two possible outcomes; if the disruption results in less giving, it means this part of the brain without disruption restrains selfish urges and if the disruption results in more giving, it means without disruption, this part restrains our natural generosity.
The latter proved true after the experiment, voila! Stringently, this is just a consequence of its role in impulse control and only attests to a minute part of self-servingness.
A more appealing reason would be one adduced by psychologist Lisa marie; low emotional intelligence- one of the symptoms of low emotional intelligence is the tendency to be self-absorbed, or exclusively concerned with what you are thinking, feeling, needing and wanting, instead of the thoughts, feelings, needs and desires of others.
While we have the tendency to consider ourselves first, I think we also possess the rationality to consider the bigger picture. These days I try as much as possible to consider the fact that there is not always one reason a person does something, even when it affects me, it does not discard the possibility of it being about me.
So the next time you are tempted to consider yourself alone, especially when people do or don’t things, do so, but don’t discard the possibility that there could be other reasons. This is just one of many instances self absorption plays out and when you can’t decipher other reasons, the safest route is to ask or just move on.
So tell me readers, can you relate to being caught up in peoples’ web of self absorption or are you a perpetrator yourself? How did you handle it? Remember to like comment, share and subscribe, ciao!